


I Might Just Regret That Night

by orphan_account



Series: Hamilton--Stuckony [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AAAAHHH, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky just wants love, Feels, Hamilton References, Hurt No Comfort, Love Triangles, Love at First Sight, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Oblivious Tony Stark, Sadness, Song fic, Sorry?, Stony - Freeform, Stony Feels, Unrequited Love, Weddings, hamilton song fic, nothing is okay and that's okay, satisfied, winteriron, winteriron feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 13:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my life."In which Bucky is the best man at Steve and Tony's wedding, and he reflects on his feelings.*Based on the song Satisfied from the musical Hamilton.*





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hamilton and Avengers? I'm down for it.  
> Also, I made it so that Tony, Steve, and Bucky had a different type of meeting--the meeting that Eliza, Angelica, and Hamilton had.  
> So, like, they all met at a ball before becoming friends and stuff.  
> Also, stuff in italic is the memory part, so there's that.  
> Enjoy!

      Bucky was happy to stand by his best friend's side until the day he died. He would willingly throw himself in front of a bullet for his best friend. But this seemed worse than a bullet. It felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest by knives over, and over, and over again. He'd prefer the bullet at this point. But he'd stand here, like a good best friend, and smile at his happily married brother.

"You did it," said Bucky, nudging Steve with his shoulder. "You actually got to settle down. And with a  _Stark_ of all people."

Steve's smile grew as he waited near the tables, waiting for his husband to stop talking with some people across the room so that they could continue with the reception. "I did, didn't I?"

"Good thing one of us did." Bucky's smile was genuine, but it wasn't as big as it should be. "I think Peggy would have our heads if we didn't."

At that, Steve laughed fondly, and Bucky could hear the words running through Steve's mind.

_"If one of you don't get married by the time I die, I'm going to have to come back and snap your heads off. Respectively, of course."_

"Thank you, Buck." Steve turned to Bucky with a smile and tear filled eyes, and Bucky wanted to look away because crying wasn't something he wanted to do right now. "I know this whole relationship with Tony and I has been confusing and hard and out of the blue, but, it just felt right, you know? Maybe it's a bad time for a wedding, but I'd never forgive myself if something happened to Tony and we  _weren't_ married."

They laughed, and Bucky wanted to shut him up because  _of course_ he'd still be here. It didn't matter how he felt, or how scary the timing was. If it made his best friend, his brother, happy, he'd do anything to make it happen. But Steve wasn't done talking, so Bucky kept his mouth shut as he let Steve continue his sappy words.

"I just really wanted to thank you for sticking by my side, Buck."

Bucky smiled, slapped his hand on Steve's shoulder, and gave him his most sincere and heartfelt look. "Where else would I be?"

Steve was about to burst into tears, and luckily for the both of them, Tony chose this moment to slide up to his husband's side with a charming smile and a new wedding band on his finger.

"Are you making my husband cry, Barnes?" Tony joked, sliding his arm around a shaking Steve's waist.

"Only out of joy, Stark," replied Barnes in the same joking tone as they always used.

"You know," drawled Tony with a smirk as he sent Bucky a heartbreaking wink. " _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be making him cry with lovey-dovey words that'll make someone puke rainbow flowers. Not you."

"Just wait till you hear the speech, Tony." Bucky hid behind his charming grin and his crossed arms to keep his true feelings from shining like a lighthouse. "You'll be puking all the flowers once I'm done."

"Can't wait."

There was another wink, and then Clint was in the middle of the room, a microphone in his hand and a drink in the other. Tasha wasn't too far behind him, wearing an amused and disappointed look as she sipped at her own drink, hiding her smile as she watched her partner wobble from the ten-to-many-drinks he's had.

"Hey!" Called Clint, drink waving around in the air and missing his suit and hair by mere inches. "What happened to the dances? Let's get this party started!"

Tony didn't hesitate in pulling Steve towards the floor, his arm still hooked around Steve's middle and a look of sheer love in his eyes that Bucky wanted to run away. Bucky's often had dreams where  _he_ was the reason Tony looked like that and seeing this reality made him want to go back to sleep.

He and Tasha shared a quick and very knowing look before they focused back on the swaying couple. Loud classical music boomed and danced around the room in time to the couple's waltz. That, despite some odd confusion, was Tony's choice of dance. Bucky knew he'd pick a waltz--he was a traditional man at heart. Besides, he's told Bucky drunken stories of how Peggy used to let him stand on her feet as she taught him how to waltz around the living room.

Bucky's charming grin fell into a smile of vulnerability as he watched them dance. He was happy for them, don't get him wrong, but he always thought  _he'd_ be the one to waltz around the room with Tony in sharp-looking suits and shining metal rings.

It hurt, it hurt like a bitch, but Bucky's survived worse. He's survived falling off a train and losing an arm. He's survived brainwashing and torture and torturing. He's survived World War Two. He's survived so many things that this should be merely a scratch.

So why did it hurt the most?

Was it because Bucky hadn't wanted the War or the brainwashing, but he got it anyway? Was it because he  _wanted_ Tony and he didn't  _get_ Tony? He didn't know, nor did he want to think about it much, but his brain couldn't help it. He wanted to know why love hurt more than war. He wanted to know why it was  _Tony Stark_ of all people. Why it was the  _boyfriend_ of his  _best friend_.

He wanted to know why the Universe hated him.

 Bucky wanted to know why Steve and Tony were stopping their graceful moves and why they were walking towards him with confused and lovely expressions on their faces.

"You alright, Buck?" Asked Steve in a tone that was to worry-filled to be heard at a wedding.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just got lost in how handsome you both looked." This time, Bucky was the one to wink, and that made Steve feel better and Tony to look better.

"Good thing it's over," said Steve. "'Cause know it's your turn to go up and speak."

"Already?"

Steve and Tony nodded before pushing Bucky onto the stage too quickly for Bucky to do anything. Everything was happening too fast. Now, here he was, standing in front of a crowd full of faces he couldn't put a name to. Also, somehow, he had a drink in his hand and there was sweat on his palms.

He's never been afraid to speak to crowds--he's loved it if anything. So why was he sweating?

"A long time ago, I met a kid who looked like a lot of sticks stuck together." He started, and how he couldn't stop. "He was a kid who was scared to talk to women, and I'd laugh at him and try to set him up on dates just to get him out there. And now, years later, he's married to one of the biggest socialites we have to offer."

Steve pulled Tony closer to him at their long table and kissed the side of his head all the while not taking his eyes off of Bucky.

Bucky wasn't paying attention, the faces were starting to blur.

"And he once told me that he would never find anyone who could love him. He once told me that he would never be satisfied. And guess what? The man he's marrying told me the same thing."

The faces began to mix into one large puddle of colours. The world began to spin and his head began to hurt from how the room was tilting and swirling. He could hear a muffled voice, and he wasn't sure if it was his or not, but it was there. His heart began to speed up, and he could hear it in his head.

\---

_As soon as it had begun, it had stopped. He was now standing in the middle of a large party that he recognized. He spun around as he saw the faces of strangers until his eyes landed on someone too familiar to be true. It was him._

_He wasn't wearing a suit, but he was in a blazer, a dress shirt, and dress pants. He looked respectable. Bucky looked down at himself and noticed that he looked foggy. He looked like a ghost with_   _colour._

_It was a memory, he realized. Of that night that he'd love to forget. Without thinking, he walked towards himself. He looked younger, somehow. He looked less stressed, but he also looked awe-struck. Bucky knew why. If he looked to the right--which he did--he could see the one and only Tony Stark walking inside the room._

_Tony looked beautiful, as always, in a black blazer and a red shirt and a tie. He looked like a model, and Bucky remembered those to be his firsts thoughts on the guy on that fateful night. Bucky was supposed to wait there for Steve, but he couldn't help the fact that his feet moved without his full consent towards Tony._

_"Hey," Bucky said, his stance a little more rigid than he remembered._

_Bucky floated around himself, examining the scene he knew would change his life forever. It was odd to see it from this angle--to not be a part of the narrative in the ways he was before._

_"Hello, handsome," Tony had greeted with a flash of his ever-charming smile. "What're you doing here? Friend of a friend?"_

_"You could say that," he said, looking positively awkward and uncomfortable. "What's your business here?"_

_Tony laughed then, and that was when Bucky knew he was just gone. Tony's laugh was something precious, to Bucky. It was like an angel was singing to him everytime Tony opened his mouth laugh._

_"This is my party, sweet cheeks," he laughed, taking a quick sip of his drink._

_"Shit," said Bucky, making his ghost-self laugh a little. "I mean--Crap! I messed up, didn't I? Damn, I'm sorry, it's just--"_

_Bucky was cut off by Tony's laugh again and Tony's hand coming down on his shoulder, that cocky and charming grin on his lips as he looked at Bucky like he knew his deepest darkest secrets._

_"No worries, handsome," said Tony easily, like the words were silk. "You got a date?"_

_Bucky exploded then. "Uh, no? I mean, not a date-date, I've got a friend-date...Do you?"_

_"Not tonight, no," he said, looking around the room quickly before snapping his brown gaze back to Bucky. "They don't satisfy me like they used to. Maybe I'll never be satisfied, who knows?"_

_"I'm Bucky Barnes, by the way."_

_"Tony Stark."_

_I can satisfy you, Bucky remembers thinking. And, just as Bucky was about to say something else, Bucky caught Tony's gaze--but it wasn't on him, it was looking over his shoulder. Bucky, with fear pumping through his veins, turned his head to see who he was looking at._

_Steve._

_It was always Steve now. Steve's fall was full of love and hope and Bucky just melted. And, with burning hatred and hurt, he turned back to Tony and saw how infatuated he truly was. So he pushed a smile to his face, ignoring the breaking of his heart, and made sure to sound as charming and sly as he could._

_"He catch your eye, yet?" He asked with his old signature smile, making Tony snap out of his stare._

_"Blondie?" Asked Tony. "He's quite the looker, isn't he?"_

_"He's my pal," said Bucky, and he saw the hope that flashed across Tony's face at that. "I can introduce you if you want."_

_"You can?" Tony asked._

_"Of course," he laughed. "That's what I'm here for."_

_So he grabbed Tony's arm and brought him over to Steve. All the way there, Bucky's mind was racing. He realized a few things while walking. For one, love at first sight wasn't like the movies. And Tony, God Tony, was like the movies in every way. Sauve, handsome, rich, cunning--he was the whole package. And Bucky wasn't._

_Bucky realized that maybe love wasn't meant for him anymore. Maybe it was Steve's time to shine. After his intense transformation, Steve's been getting all the attention, and Bucky's happy for him. Just not right now._

_"Steve," Bucky said with a knowing smile. "This is Tony Stark. Tony, Steve."_

_He let go of Tony and took a step back and allowed the meeting to happen._

_"Steve Rogers," Steve introduced again, sticking out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."_

_"As your friend said, I'm Tony Stark." He reached for Steve's hand and brought it up to his lips, causing Steve to blush and cast Bucky a quick look, who responded with a wink._

_Another thing Bucky thought of was the fame all three of them had. Tony had his business and his money and his scandalous life, and Steve and Bucky had their military fame. Bucky decided that he was giving Tony over to Steve because, in being older, he had to be smarter in who he dated._

_Bucky had an imagine to protect for his family--he had a smart and powerful legacy that needed him to keep it safe. For all he knew, Tony could've been faking his infatuation with Bucky just for this extra fame boost._

_It was smarter, Bucky thought, to give this man over to Steve who didn't have a legacy--who wouldn't be as affected by this._

_"You're just as pretty up close as you were from far away," Tony said in a low and devilish voice that made both Steve and Bucky in his hands._

_"So are you, Tony," said Steve with a large, face-splitting grin._

_"I'll, uh, leave you to it," said Bucky before disappearing deep into the crowd._

_He spotted a door at the back of the room and decided to go towards it._

_During his walk, he realized one last thing._

_He knew Steve like he knew the back of his hand. He'd take bullets for Steve without hesitation. And he knew, if he told Steve that he loved Tony, Steve would smile and let Bucky have him._

_A part of Bucky was telling him to go back and steal Tony for himself, but a bigger part of Bucky refused to be a dick about it. If Steve wanted Tony, Steve would get Tony._ _Bucky has always put Steve's happiness above his own, and he'll never stop doing that. And if Steve made Tony happy, then he wants Steve to be happy._

_Steve would always smile and give Bucky what he wanted if he asked for it. He would say he's fine if Bucky took Tony, he would smile and stand by his side, all the while saying that he was fine and happy. But Bucky knew that it would all be a lie. A big fat lie that Bucky needed to keep instead._

_So Bucky burst through the door, his ghost-self following sadly as he watched the night he regrets too much to think of, and ran to the railing of the balcony. He felt like puking. He was finally in love and he gave it all up so that Steve could finally be happy._

_Bucky knew at that moment that he would never be satisfied._

\----

Apparently, he kept talking during his memory because Steve was crying and so was half the crowd. He didn't know what he said, but he knew he had to finish it because he was going to cry soon if he didn't end it.

"I know that Steve makes Tony happy and that Tony makes Steve happy," he said, raising his drink to them. "They'll make each other satisfied. And I think it's high time that they become satisfied. So here's to them, two people who have defined a nation."

The crowd erupted in cheers as Bucky downed his drink, and Tony and Steve shared a big kiss.

"Now!" Bucky called, swinging his arm over to the DJ in the corner. "Let's continue this party!"

Everyone jumped up at that and ran towards the dance floor. Bucky stood still, letting his face fall as everyone's backs turned to his. The music began to boom and laughs began to explode around the room as everyone began to dance with the married couple.

He watched Steve and Tony dance and kiss and hug and be plain happy. 

"I'll never be happy," he said to himself, averting his eyes to his drink. "And I hope to God you can be satisfied, Tony. I know I won't."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, there that blob of a thing.  
> Hope you enjoyed, and I hope it was decently good.  
> I have a love for Hamilton and the Avengers and I just thought, hey, angst and a pairing that just fought and destroyed many lives? PUSH THEM TOGETHER!  
> ...Anyway...Hope you guys enjoyed it, see ya!


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